If it’s news to me, it must be news to you!
O’er matron
Not normally known for innuendo, Mark & Spencer launched a Love Sausage in time for Valentine’s Day.
Speaking of sausages
Forget about the companies abandoning Britain, the real tragedy of Brexit is that the planned Sausage World in North Yorkshire has been shelved because the EU has pulled funding.
Go to hell
If Nigel Forage or Jacob Rees-Mogg are wondering what their little shelf in hell is like then they should head for the Nottinghamshire/Derbyshire border where the gates of hell have been found.
Having nun of it
Archivists studying medieval manuscripts in York have unearthed the story of Joan of Leeds, a nun who faked her own death to pursue ‘the way of carnal lust’.
History week
To complete this week’s historical news, we have the medieval sword found in a sewer in Denmark and Henry VII’s bed which turned up in the honeymoon suite of a hotel in Chester.
Nice work if you can get it
When a Pennsylvania police department asked for volunteers ‘willing to drink hard liquor to the point of inebriation’ for free it was hardly surprising that they were overwhelmed by willing helpers.
Starman
Ever wondered what David Bowie is mumbling at the start of Starman? According to Danny Baker, he is muttering Larry Grayson’s catchphrase ‘shut that door’.
Paradox
Fox News frontman Pete Hegseth revealed that he hasn’t washed his hands for ten years because he doesn’t believe in germs because he can’t see them. He went on to say that his health had improved because it was a way of inoculating himself against the germs he says don’t exist.
What’s in a name
A study has revealed the twenty names that the naughtiest children have. It will be interesting to see if my teacher daughter agrees.
Brief Lives
Last survivor of The Great Escape Dick Churchill; Harold Wilson’s right-hand woman Marcia Williams; chronicler of the Windrush generation Andrea Levy; architect of the Class of ’92 Eric Harrison; Spike Milligan’s long-suffering agent Norma Farnes; creator of the Haynes Manual John Haynes and; legendary goalkeeper Gordon Banks.